Two capsules during the meal, and then three more, filled with some regular stuff, sweet and cloying, but it makes you feel strong and brave. And then you can without any problems fall into the void without dreams, without thought, wake up in the morning and again try to start life anew – though without any prospects. A kind of false sobriety still is here … And the pain, blurred effect pills and alcohol, still slips sometimes reminds of itself. Here it is the very real – not abstract, if we take it for what it really is …

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I remember that before I really wanted to cry. I would like crouching somewhere where no one sees where the tie curious eyes will not break my paranoid seclusion, where no one's language can not be beat so precious to me the silence. But now I'm terribly afraid of being alone, and I already do not want to cry.